i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
