I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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