ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
