at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize