you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
there is glitter all over my balls
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