Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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