.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
