awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize