Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
