youre lurking in front of me
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
