we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
