I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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