Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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