so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
