imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
