she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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