ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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