I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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