You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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