And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
