Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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