Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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