The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
