I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
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