Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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