fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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