He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
They are going to name an STD after you.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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