Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize