My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize