I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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