A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
this is an emotional support booty call
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
