she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Randomize
