i may or may not be watching the land before time
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize