Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
