Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
