well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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