do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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