and she was petting her beer can
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
