The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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