So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
