just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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