I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
