Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
