Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
