just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
