There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize
