I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
