Your tits are I can't wait for
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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