her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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