I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
