I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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