I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize