were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
