I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
