Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
