If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
