.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
