...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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