All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
