Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
