..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
