Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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