You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
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