dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
