Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Sorry about my life...
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
