Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
