There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
