i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
