If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I think I sprained my soul last night
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
