got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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