I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
