he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize