We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
