Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
